Our Wedding

Well as you probably know by now the wedding has come and gone and we're just plain old married folks now.

The wedding and reception were both held at Aberfoyle Mill outside of Guelph. The restaurant staff very kindly set up an area in the reception tent for the ceremony in case the rains came (as it was threatening to do) but we decided to go on ahead with the ceremony in the gazebo. And the rains did come, for us it seemed so appropriate. I'm a weather geek, and Ocean's Edge, John Varley's short story The Phantom of Kansas about a weather artist is one of the most important shared stories between us, how could it NOT rain on our wedding day? It didn't storm, the rain was pretty light most folks brought umbrellas, and we were under cover in the gazebo, so it was all good. It was beautiful.

Wedding Ceremony (Introduction:)
(Kathleen:) We are gathered together today in these beautiful surroundings to share with Vicky & James this very special moment in their lives together. Today they have chosen to share with you their joy in declaring their love, friendship and commitment to each other. Today they stand before you to exchange their vows and join together in embarking on an exhilarating journey of adventure as they set out to carve out a life with each other.

As I look around on this very special occasion, the words that come to mind are joy and happiness. You are blessed to be surrounded by the presence of family and friends who are here to witness and participate in your marriage.

Vicky & James share a great many things… A love of family and friends, music, good food, mutual respect, a sense of honour, fair play, and even though they are individuals they share the same fundamental moral beliefs. But above all and most importantly, they share a sense of fun and a good sense of humour, which I'm sure, will be tested on numerous occasions to come.

Throughout their lives Vicky & James as individuals, have grown, matured and blossomed into the people that you have come to know, love and rely on, but as a couple they will be strengthened and enriched by all the experiences that they will share & together they will make the most of all that life has to offer. No human relationship gives one possession of another. Every two persons are absolutely different. In friendship and in love, the two, side by side, find what one cannot reach alone. Vicky & James compliment each other and each helps the other to reach their full potential. Together they are more than the sum of their parts. Together they stand against the world, yet embracing it and life to the fullest.

Oh Ancient Ones of days long past,
We do ask your presence here among us.
For this is a time that is not a time
In a place that is not a place
On a day that is not a day
Between the worlds and beyond…
Blessed Be!

(All:) Blessed Be!

So in the spirits of life, and love I ask you all now to join together with Vicky & James and share in the moment by mentally joining with them and sending your love and energies for continued happiness in the future.

(Solemnity of Marriage:)
(Kathleen:) Marriage is a bond to be entered into only after considerable thought and reflection. As with any aspect of life, it has its cycles, its ups and its downs, its trials and its triumphs. With full understanding of this, Vicky and James have come here today to be joined as one in marriage.

(Kathleen:) Vicky, I ask you, do you come here to be married of your own free will and accord.
(Vicky:) Yes, I come here a free woman to be joined with this man

(Kathleen:) James, I ask you, do you come here to be married of your own free will and accord.
(James:) Yes, I come here a free man to be joined with this woman

(Kathleen:) And who comes here to offer witness and blessing to this union?
(Children:) We come to offer witness and our blessing to the marriage of our Mother and James.

(Calling the Quarters:)
(Kathleen:) Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East.
Communication of the heart, mind, and body
Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun.
The knowledge of the growth found in the sharing of silences.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South.
Warmth of hearth and home
The heat of the heart's passion
The light created by both to illuminate the darkest of times.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the West.
The deep commitments of the lake The swift excitement of the river
The refreshing cleansing of the rain
The all encompassing passion of the sea.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North
Firm foundation on which to build
Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives
A stable home to which you may always return.

Blessed be this union with the gifts of the Spirits of Life and Love
May they bestow upon you all Her bounty, and all His protection

(James:) It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

(Vicky:) It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

(James:) It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

(Vicky:) I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

(James:) It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

(Vicky:) I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

(James:) I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

(Vicky:) It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

(James:) It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

(Vicky:) It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

(James:) I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

(Kathleen:) Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When difficulties assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

(The Binding: Officiant wrapping cords around the wrists of the celebrants)
(Kathleen: tying the intertwined cords of silver red blue and green) by the power of air, by the power of fire, by the power of water, by the power of earth. In Her love. In His strength…
Vicky will you bind yourself to this man?
(Vicky:) I will

James will you bind yourself to this woman?
(James:) I will

(Kathleen:) And so the binding is made The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords but instead by your vows. Either of you may drop the cords, for as always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

(Vicky-Jessica hands her her chalice:) I offer up my cup to you. I offer it up in care and sustenance of you, of us, of our lives and our home, and all that falls within the sphere of our love.

I, Vicky Fraser, do take you James Baker to be my husband. To laugh with you, to cry with you, to care for you, to soar with you, to stand with you, to grow old with you. To be your lover, your friend, your wife, through all eternity.

(James-John hands him his dagger:) I offer up my blade to you. I offer it up in defense and protection of you, of us, of our home, and all that falls within the sphere of our love.

I, James Baker, do take you Vicky Fraser to be my wife. To laugh with you, to cry with you, to care for you, to soar with you, to stand with you, to grow old with you. To be your lover, your friend, your husband, through all eternity.

(The Rings:)
(Kathleen:) Black Elk, said:
"Everything the Power of the Worlds does is done in a circle. The sky is round, and I have heard that the earth is round like a ball and so are the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls. Birds make their nests in circles ... The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always coming back again to where they were. The life of a man or a woman is a circle from childhood to childhood, and so it is in everything where power moves." These rings, 4 strands woven together, silver of the moon, gold of the sun, earth, air, wind, and fire woven together in one universe without beginning, without end

(Vicky:) Let this ring be a symbol of my love for you and my pledge this day. With all that I am, and all that I will be, heart, mind, body and soul woven together in one love without beginning, without end.

(James:) Let this ring be a symbol of my love for you and my pledge this day. With all that I am, and all that I will be, heart, mind, body and soul woven together in one love without beginning, without end.

(Blessing:)
(Kathleen:) Now you will feel no rain, ("cause you're under this gazebo"-much laughter!)
For each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there will be no loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons,
But there are three lives before you: his life, her life and your life together.
Go now to your dwelling place to enter into your days together.
And may all your days be good and long upon the Earth.

By the power vested in me by the spirits of life and love, and the province of Ontario, I do here pronounce you husband and wife. Step over the broom and seal your vows with a kiss.

(signing of the register:)

(Reading:)
(John: ) "Speak to us of Love."
He raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.
And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
(Kahil Gibran - from The Prophet)
The Video Many, many thanks to John Williams for coming all the way from New York state to do the taping, and to join us. Bless you dear.

Our wonderful friends and family did a magnificent job of jumping in at the last minute to do decorations and the tent looked spectacular. It wasn't a party all night sort of crowd, but everyone had fun, the food was very yummy, and the cake was unbelievably a dream - both of them. Yeah it was Andrew's 18th birthday as well, so we had to completely embarrass the child with a BIG cake and a rousing round of happy birthday, and big oooey Mom kisses for giving up his day for us, and an enormous card with a picture of his birthday present in it.
The evening is all now a bit of a blur, but there were wonderful guests and wonderful moments. Daniel dancing with my Mom. The first moment I saw my boys in their tuxes. The magical cake. Awarding Donna the door prize. John Williams hiding in the corners with his laptop computer, enjoying himself. Jo and Nick and Donna and Len with their score cards. And bubbles.
Once again I'll say it. So many wonderful friends, took such time and trouble and expense to share this day with us, we couldn't have been more touched. To have our family, and our friends, with us as we embark on this journey together means more than we can express.
The photos that John Williams took are hosted at photobucket, and you can see them here. We also now have James's sister Jo's photos. ~~There will be more links to photos when we get the offical photos back~~ (Edit: Looks like we're not getting any official photos back *sob*), and now we have a video link. In the meantime if you'd like to pass on and share any of the photos you took we'd love to have them. Drop me an email or something :)
Our honeymoon in Ireland was unspeakably wonderful. There just aren't words for the magic of the Emerald Isle or how profoundly it affected us. I'll be working on typing up my travel diaries and posting pictures over the coming weeks.
Keep this page bookmarked, later on it will host information regarding the Brisbane reception, and links to the photo albums and video feed.
So as we set sail off into our future, we're glad to have you all aboard to wish us bon voyage.

Links to all those people who've made this such a wonderful experience!

Aberfoyle Mill Our venue, delightful people, scrumptous food, brilliant service, and the most beautiful setting a couple could hope for! I can't say enough good things about these people.

All Seasons Weddings These folks are a one stop shopping ground for officiants in Ontario. Despite that they were wonderful, patient and understanding with my fears and concerns, and found me the PERFECT officiant.

Kathleen Baird's Website She is truly an amazing lady, I'm so glad we found her to perform the ceremony. We both adore Kathleen and will be keeping in touch plenty.

Something Blue Photographics Rebecca Young is a stunning photographer, she even make me look good! She was just the right blend of sweet, kind, helpful and personable, and sergent-major to keep everyone and everything moving well.
Edit: Rebecca was wonderful, right up to the point where she didn't deliver the photos, or negatives, or proofs, or CD of digital images, and refused to take my calls, answer my emails, or respond to a priority letter. I can't tell you how disappointed I am not to have our photos, especially when I was so pleased and touched with the beautiful work that's displayed on her website.

The Bride's Project Helen is doing an amazing thing. Bringing both brides wonderful gorgeous designer wedding dresses at affordable prices, and supporting summer camps for kids with cancer. Until I found her, I was beginning to feel like the commercialization of weddings was sucking all the soul right out of ours. Through the Brides' Project I met so many wonderful people and things. Like Kimberly. I was just so sorry I wasn't able to find just the right dress there. Nevertheless, Helen restored my faith in the beauty of what we're doing, and our day. Bless you Helen.

Kimberly Anne Designs Kim is the fabulous lady who did our flowers. And she is such a treat to work with, the day we met I not only found a vendor, but I found a friend. I'm so pleased to have met her. The website is a work in progress, but it's coming along. We're so glad we could build this for her.

Romantic Threads This ebay store is just so lovely. They have the most beautiful dresses. Doing business with Belinda, even by email was a pleasure, she's worked hard to make sure the dress and boots were to be just right for me.

Lavilla Bakery A wonderful old Italian family bakery in my Mom's Port Credit neighbourhood. The cake had everyone buzzing... including the restaurant staff. Magnificent doesn't even begin to describe it!

The Original Titanium Workshop These guys in Kelowna BC were the originators of the Abyss titanium wedding band (yes the one from the movie), but more importantly they had some beautiful woven celtic designs, the symbology of which, meant a lot to us. Most importantly, despite a problem in the original rings made they still managed to deliver quickly, in plenty of time, with great customer service.

Clissmann Family Mary Clissmann has been wonderful. We rented a traditional horse drawn Irish Caravan for a week from the Clissmann's - a more romantic and perfect honeymoon I couldn't think of! Their kindness was overwhelming.

Wicklow County Ireland Just south of Dublin on the east coast of Ireland, it was the most amazing and beautiful place to explore ... especially at a horse's pace.
I know there are people I've forgotten to thank or link to here.... The sound equipment rental folks, the lovely girl Vanessa who did mine and Jessica's make up and hair, Elizabeth Spa where I got my body waxing and nails done, the good folks at the helium rental, Moores - the suit people. To everyone who made this day special..
THANK YOU

We've been married now for: 23 July 2006 15:00:00 UTC-0400
James moves to Canada: 19 Dec 2007 17:00:00 UTC-0500

Talk to the Ocean - wedding @ oceans-edge . com